Joe Biden can't save the 'soul of the nation'

President Biden will talk about what the White House calls the 'battle for the soul of the nation' in a prime-time speech on Thursday.

It's a timely topic with lots of interesting ideas, but the best idea is that the Big Guy is the right person to talk about America's soul. Biden will have to keep telling lies unless he is willing to admit that his family made millions by selling access to foreign governments and Communist oligarchs.

He's good at making up stories, so that's not a problem. He is very good at making up stories.

Biden doesn't just lie like every other politician. He has been caught plagiarizing and making up stories. He is the Walter Mitty of American politics because he is always the hero of his own stories.

It doesn't matter that America has become more violent, more expensive, and less hopeful under his watch and because of his policies. The rest of the world can smell our weakness, and when our enemies say the U.S. is falling, it's hard to argue against them.

Still, Biden stumbles and mumbles along, his image of being a solid old-school guy smoothing the way. Uncle Joe is perfect for politics, and voters can trust him. The media never stops lecturing us about him because he reminds them of someone in their own family.

He's a little crazy and quick to get angry, but he has a big heart and good intentions. Maybe it's because he has such a big heart that little kids like to rub their hair on his legs and he likes to nuzzle and sniff their hair.

Doesn't every uncle do that? Ashley Biden's diary says that Uncle Joe took a shower with his daughter. Don't all fathers do that with their daughters?

Uncle Joe always calls himself "Joey" when he talks about his own childhood. The family is sitting around the kitchen table in Scranton, talking about the bills they can't pay. Joey says that when he grows up, he will stop people from saying that the little guys always get screwed.

He tells us that's why he worked so hard in high school and got into the Naval Academy, started college at the historically black Delaware State University, and then moved to the University of Delaware, where he got three undergraduate degrees.

Three degrees and four noses!

Then he went to law school at Syracuse University, where he got the only full academic scholarship and finished in the top half of his class.

He said that, until the facts showed him wrong.

Along the way, he became the only white lifeguard at a black swimming pool in Wilmington, where he faced Corn Pop, "a bad dude who ran a lot of bad boys." They all had razor blades that had been dipped in rain barrels to make them rusty, but Joe Biden wasn't scared, and Corn Pop ran away.

Fight to save own skin

Biden has been through a lot of bad things in real life, but that has never stopped him from wanting to be famous. He says that he was arrested more than once in the United States for taking part in civil-rights protests and once in South Africa for trying to see Nelson Mandela.

Both of these claims are false, but it is true that he made friends with southern segregationists in the Senate and "revered" his mentor, Robert Byrd, who was a former KKK member.

Sometimes Biden's passion for civil rights gets the best of him, like when he said that Mitt Romney and the Republicans wanted to put black Americans "back in chains" during the 2012 election.

Or in 2020, when he told a black radio host, "You ain't black" if they even thought about voting for Donald Trump.

Last year, when he spoke out against a proposed Georgia law that would require voters to show ID, he called it "Jim Crow for the 21st century" and said that supporting it would be like supporting Bull Connor. Even though Delaware also needs ID to vote.

All of this suggests that Biden's view of what makes America great is shaped to fit his politics at the time. Thursday will be a great example, with the midterm elections heating up and Biden family secrets at stake.

The current president will say that America needs to work together to protect democracy from the other party, er, semi-fascists. This will happen right after his attorney general ordered a raid on the home of the former president, which had never happened before, and as the case plays out every day in the media.

Everyone will know who the devil is without him having to say Donald Trump's name. Some people may worry that Democrats are using the police to get back at their political opponents, but the media will cheer for Uncle Joe.

It won't be said that the same FBI that spied on Trump in 2016 and helped stop The Post's Hunter Biden laptop story in 2020 is now expected to stop that annoying investigation of Hunter and all those foreign paymasters. Even though millions of dollars moved around in different Biden family accounts for four years, there were no leaks and no end in sight to the investigation.

Even more reason for Biden to fight like hell this fall for Democrats to keep control of both houses of Congress. His presidency and reputation are at risk because Republicans have promised to look into the wealth of the Big Guy and his family if they win either chamber.

So people will really have a choice. By getting a secret cut, they can get a full and honest picture of Biden's long career.

Or, they can decide that the country's soul is best served by keeping things as they are, with money going to the First Family and the leader of the other party being raided by the FBI and going to jail.

NYC gets all crossed up

Seven thousand six hundred, and still counting. That many people who crossed the border are now staying in shelters in New York City, and the number is growing every day.

Mayor Adams will have to pay a political price at some point. The federal government started the influx by sending secret flights to airports in the area. Now, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is sending buses full of migrants to New York City and Washington, DC.

Abbott wants to put enough pressure on "sanctuary cities" to get them to give up and tell Biden to close the border.

Abbott has proved his point. The only question is how long it will take Adams to admit defeat and work with him to get Washington to enforce immigration laws.

Stink vs. Hochul

Joseph Cesare sees a blind spot in Gov. Hochul's attack on Florida and Gov. Ron DeSantis, where she said that the problem "starts at the top and works its way down." Cesare writes, "Doesn't she know that the state she's in is rotting like a fish?"

Tardy Blas ‘prof’ecy

Otto Hernandez wants Harvard students who sign up for Bill de Blasio's class to know something. Professor Putz isn't very strict about being on time, so he writes, "I'm guessing his 9 a.m. class will start right on time at 10 a.m."

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