The epidemic now belongs to Biden

'There is no federal answer,' he claims, contradicting his declaration from 2020.

Over the previous few years, we've all learned to wash our hands more thoroughly, but no one has done it as meticulously as Joe Biden. His declaration that "there is no federal answer" to Covid-19 ranks him among the greatest handwashers in history. "This is settled at the state level," Biden, like Pontius Pilate, is leaving it to the crowd. Unlike the delaying procurator who abdicated his duties to the jeering Judeans, Biden gets it right the first time. But it won't — and shouldn't — rescue him from the jeers.

Biden campaigned on a promise of a federal solution, which he now claims does not exist. It also didn't exist in the year 2020. That didn't stop him from claiming he wouldn't open the economy until the federal government used its powers to "shut down" Covid, as if a pandemic can be beaten by dragging it out back of the gym and pummeling it like Donald Trump or Corn Pop.

If you have nothing better to do — if, perhaps, you’re in bed with a mild but slightly synthetic-feeling cold that won’t put you in the hospital unless you’re an obese octogenarian with comorbidities where other people have organs — you can read all about The Biden Plan, as he called it, on his campaign website. This Plan of Plans has three elements:

• “[T]o massively surge a nationwide campaign and guarantee regular, reliable, and free access to testing”

• “Double the number of drive-through testing sites and increase the numbers until there are no more lines”

• “Build a national contact tracing workforce, starting by hiring at least 100,000 Americans and equipping sorely under-resourced public health departments with the resources they need to spot and stop outbreaks”

None of this has been delivered by Biden. On testing, Omicron has once again caught him off guard. The lineups at drive-in testing locations are impressive. While there has been no trace of Biden's contact-tracing militia, there is plenty evidence that public health agencies are still caught off guard.

In addition, epidemics cannot be controlled until everyone is locked in their houses, as evidenced by reports from throughout the world. Even in the wildest aspirations of that demonic elf Dr. Fauci, this is inconceivable in the United States. Perhaps this explains why Biden was so quick to announce "Mission completed" in July, just as Delta was getting ready to take off. That attempt to wriggle out of a problem by declaring it solved went about as well for Biden as it did for George W. Bush.

The epidemic now belongs to Biden and Harris, assuming she shows up for work. When they defeated Donald Trump, they were awarded the booby prize of rebuilding with Trump-made materials from Operation Warp Speed. Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson have done an excellent job of shaping government policy and establishing what appears to be a franchise for a yearly and progressively required injection regime. Failure, on the other hand, is an orphan, and Biden doesn't want to be the one left holding the infant.

In Biden's first year, more people died than in Trump's last. His flagship effort, an executive order requiring government employees and major corporate personnel to get vaccinated, was not worth the paper it was written on. Panic is the fastest way for politicians to gain power. The fact that this government can't even create terror effectively is an indication of its ineptness. The federal government keeps coming up with new tactics to deceive the public. How can pharmacies run out of home-testing kits after two years? Dr. Jill, how could you have let us down so badly?

Meanwhile, Biden coughs his inexplicably persistent cough and croaks out his comically furious pledges to give the quick replies he promised two years ago in The Biden Plan – as if anybody would believe him today. His abdication of duty to the states is a cynical concession, not a brave move. States have already seized the initiative and are imposing a patchwork of regulations on their citizens.

There is a Biden Plan, but it is the same as it has always been: the Biden posterior must be covered at all costs. Biden is correct that the country should not be shut down because of a cold, but he is doing it for the wrong reasons. Biden would push Americans into the mud if there was a political gain in forcing them to kneel while completely disguised. However, because there is no more juice in Covid's lemon, and hence no more lemonade to be created from our sorrows, it is now politically advantageous for him to wash his hands of it.

Biden is scrambling for cover as he staggers over the yard and into the chopper bound for Delaware. He's the great abdicator, asserting his insignificance while clinging to the sliver of authority in front of the green screen: a gray shimmer. He downplays the president's position to his own low level: the president as a cellar dweller. Who wants to catch a cold when Biden sneezes?

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