2022 Predictions (Some Real... Some Just For Fun)

Biden's popularity will plummet to new lows, maybe breaking records.

Just Because

Kamala Harris will film a YouTube video in which she and Doug Emhoff discuss why Kwanzaa is their favorite holiday of the year. Fox News will reveal three weeks later (i) that the Biden White House actually hired a Cuban Company named “Now the Ship Is Really Sinking, Ltd.” to do the film and (ii) that look-alike actors were hired to play Harris, Emhoff, and Kwanzaa.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will lead a new nationwide push to ban all Harry Potter novels as racist, in the wake of Dr. Seuss's prohibition. As a result, Hogwarts University will engage Nikole Hannah-Jones, the 1619 Project's founder who was refused tenure at a prestigious university, to educate their faculty that Harry Potter owned slaves and that Quidditch was originated in Africa. Colin Kaepernick will be encouraged to kneel as an attraction for the annual Quidditch season opening. "We need to have this dialogue," Kamala Harris, discovered chuckling in a cave, would say. "We must honor His Truth."

To protest the Supreme Court's decision to preserve the Texas abortion legislation, Ben & Jerry's will introduce a new flavor: Cholesterol Candy Condoms. Sandra Fluke will be reawakened from her slumber to market the product. When she discovers that customers must pay for the product, she will demand that all healthcare plans be legally forced to cover the cost of two pints of milk each month. A group of lactose-intolerant nuns will file a lawsuit. Intolerant Nuns will be the subject of a series by Rachel Maddow. Don Lemon will consume a pint of beer while suspended in mid-air. Van Jones will bring up systematic racism as a reason for the taste base being vanilla rather than chocolate.

Ghislaine Maxwell, finding a noose in her jail cell autographed by Jussie Smollett, will start talking and naming names.

Boris Johnson of the United Kingdom will announce he has six other children from four other wives and two concubines.

Kyle Rittenhouse will reach a settlement with three newspapers and two cable television networks over defamation cases he filed.

The invited main entertainment, stand-up comedian Chief Justice John Roberts, will reprise his famous joke "There is no such thing as an Obama Judge or a Trump Judge" during a sumptuous banquet supper to raise cash for the upcoming Fourth Annual Trump Christmas Impeachment. Amid the raucous laughter that follows, three people will choke to death over their fava beans and chianti, but no one will notice because all eyes will focus on Ocasio-Cortez’s new $275,000 Armani-Versace designer dress emblazoned with the words “Tax the Kitsch.”

After experiencing marital troubles, Ilhan Omar and her third husband, the campaign communications director, will proclaim that they have done the required steps to give Ilhan the sensation that the marriage is now right. Towards that end, she will adopt him as her brother.

Nonetheless, as the year progresses, Ilhan will raise her senior legislative aide's pay to $5 million per year. She will divorce her new brother and marry the congressional aide when he receives the $5 million. She will then raise the legislative aide as her newest sibling. The previous brother would then suggest that she adopt both of them as "Somalian/Siamese twins."

A group of progressive social justice warriors will follow Kyrsten Sinema into her annual gynecological exam and will film a pap smear. When asked for an opinion, a giggling Kamala Harris will say: “This is a conversation we need to have. I stand by Their Truth.”

Biden will unveil plans to exit Afghanistan in a spectacular statement as summer begins. He'll remark, "It's time." "Our Afghan friends are well-trained, prepared, and armed to defend their homeland against any Taliban danger." "I stand by His Truth," Kamala Harris, who will be by his side, will remark. This is a conversation that America has to have."

George Soros will propose a new $1 billion effort to elect class presidents in lower primary schools. His candidate, a straight-A student who became renowned as America's cover boy for the country's first complete year of Woke Math, would spend $83,000 on advertising and delivering free candy to voters in his first such sponsorship, while the opposing candidate will spend $6.32. On his first day in office, the winner will propose cutting education funding.

Women who burnt their bras in the 1960s will announce a meeting in Washington on the new Juneteenth national holiday to burn their wombs after the US Supreme Court sustains the new Texas abortion legislation.

Bernie Sanders will purchase his fourth, fifth, and sixth multi-million-dollar mansions, explaining he is “spreading the wealth and the message of socialism.”

CNN, the Washington Post, MSNBC, and the New York Times will announce a ground-breaking joint nationwide education program to teach black Americans how to bring Voter ID with them to the polls. The campaign will be titled: “It’s Just Like at the Airports, at the Movies, and Everywhere Else.” LeBron will demand reparations instead to help black families like his meet food costs amid the Biden-Pelosi raging inflation. Jussie Smollett, through his publicity agent, former Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx, will announce that he will wave food reparations in return for a Classic Cuban Midnight (Medianoche) Sandwich.

Kyle Rittenhouse will announce that he and Nick Sandmann have purchased CNN. Instead of airing news or opinion, they will run a simple 24/7 non-stop sound loop of James Earl Jones saying, “This Is CNN.” Overnight, their network will lead cable ratings. Chris Wallace will change networks to join Shep Smith, Jonah Goldberg, and Chris Stirewalt at The Animal Planet Channel to co-host the all-new “Sunday Mornings with Bonzo.”

Meghan Duchess, Sussex of Markle, will announce her campaign running for the queen of England, as the position becomes electoral. George Soros will fund it. Lord and Lady Grantham, in protest, will convert Downton Abbey to a banana stand.

On the eve of the November elections, Nancy Pelosi will announce that “As a Catholic, I am stepping down as Speaker to devote myself full-time to the Select Committee to Investigate the April 12 Attack on Fort Sumter, the August 24 Burning of the White House, the December 7th Attack on Pearl Harbor, and the January 6th Attack on the Capitol.” Reps. Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney will announce a “Go Fund Me” page to finance the effort. The Vatican will be petitioned by Woke Democrats to rename all monuments and buildings in California, formerly dedicated to Saint Junipero Serra, to newly honor Pelosi as “Our Lady of the Perpetual Impeachment.”

United States Attorney John Durham’s team will expand their efforts and budget, devoting the year to continue investigating whether his title is Special Counsel, Special Prosecutor, or Special Investigator.

Real Predictions

Biden's popularity will continue to fall. He'll have a good week or two, maybe even a month of neutral flow, but he'll plummet to record lows or close to them. Harris will plummet much farther.

Democrats, at least 60-65 percent of them, will support Trump, but Independents will forsake him for forever.

On Saturday evenings throughout the year, black people will be murdered in significant numbers in Chicago, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Detroit, Baltimore, and Philadelphia. Nobody will notice.

There will be another financial controversy involving Hunter Biden. This time, social media will not be able to hide the truth.

In November 2022, Hispanics will make a significant shift toward the Republican Party, but a long-term realignment is unlikely. For decades, we've been taught that Hispanics are a good fit for the GOP because they are devoted Catholics, entrepreneurs, and socially conservative family members. This has shown out to be untrue. They've been sold on voting by color by the Democrats. And the Republicans they've known have primarily been George W. Bush for the past 12 years, which have been distinguished by economic disaster sooner or later.

After that, there was Obama, and after that, there was Trump. That pair in your hand was worth two Bushes. For the first time, Hispanics have seen eight years of the progressive Woke dream followed by four years of the possibility of a populist-conservative rule. They've seen how, despite the promises, they lost money and were abandoned under Obama, only to succeed under Trump. On the other hand, they had to pray more earnestly under Obama since he preyed more – on them.

The long-term question for Hispanic Americans and Asian Americans is whether they finally will figure out that the “People of Color” political ploy does not include them. Think of the heroes of Black Lives Matter: Trayvon Martin, Freddie Gray, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Michael Brown. Think of the association’s name: Black Lives Matter. If I am Asian-descended, at some point I have to be asking myself: “What exactly does this have to do with me and my rights and opportunities? If anything, they leverage black admissions quotas to keep us out of college even though our academic achievements are so much more stellar.” Hispanics, too, at some point have to be asking themselves a similar series of questions. Once they figure out that Black Lives Matter is not their cause, maybe they will figure out what Hispanic expatriates from Communist countries like Cuba and Venezuela already know: the newly populist GOP, shaped by Trump, is their party. It is no longer the GOP of the White socialite dinner party set (no White dresses after Labor Day; mind the difference between the salad fork and the fish fork) and the Koch brothers who see in Hispanics little else besides cheap labor.

At least five mosques will be bombed throughout the world. All of this will be carried out by Arab Muslims.

In Judea and Samaria, Israel will continue to develop or expand Jewish communities. By December 31, 2022, Judea and Samaria (which includes East Jerusalem) will have a population of about one million Jews.

Putin will sanction specific actions on the Crimea-Ukraine border in the hopes of inducing a blunder in Ukraine, which he will then exploit to justify invading Ukraine. He will annex a portion of Eastern Ukraine if this occurs. Sanctions will be announced by Biden and Blinken. Putin is unconcerned.

As the Delta and Omicron COVID variations decline, another important COVID variety will arise. New York and California will treat it differently from Florida and Texas. More than 80% of Americans will have been exposed to COVID at some point, and herd immunity will become the emphasis. Dr. Fauci's viewpoint will not be changed.

The United Kingdom will initially continue to face some disadvantages as a result of its exit from the European Union. However, as time passes, it will become evident that they were correct to leave the EU, and other nations will follow suit once they recognize the logic of Brexit.

The Texas abortion legislation will be upheld by the United States Supreme Court. The Left will go bananas and demand that the Supreme Court be packed. It's not going to happen. Manchin is going to say no. "How about if we just add Puerto Rico and D.C. as states?" the Left will argue. It's not going to happen. Manchin is going to say no. As a result, McConnell will extend an invitation to Manchin to join the Republican Party as a senator. It's not going to happen. Manchin is going to say no.

Cities that have defunded police will announce this year that they will hire additional officers and raise their pay and pensions.

The Republicans will retake control of the House of Representatives, gaining 40 seats in the process. In Georgia, Herschel Walker will defeat Raphael Warnock and reclaim a Republican Senate seat. Stacey Abrams will run for something as well, but she will fall short. She'll point the finger at electoral fraud. In the contest for Texas governor, Beto will be crushed.

Inflation will continue to rise. In some places, gasoline will cost $4, while in others, it will cost $5, and in California, it may cost $6. Throughout the year, the Fed will continue to change its policy.

Ghislaine Maxwell will begin talking and identifying individuals after discovering a noose autographed by Jussie Smollett in her cell.

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