Theresa Rose celebrated her husband's birthday in 2020 by playing a threesome with another woman. But her husband's thirst for sexual exploration backfired: she left him and filed for divorce just a few weeks later.
"Experiencing that personal relationship with a woman for the first time, the physical and emotional depth was [so deep], I was like, 'Oh my God, this is what I've been missing,'" Rose, 36, told The Washington Post. (To preserve her identity, she wanted to be referred to as "Rose," her middle name.)
She is one of an increasing number of women who are leaving their male husbands for other women. Many of them have been publicized romances. Glennon Doyle penned a best-seller, "Untamed," about leaving her husband for Abby Wambach, a women's soccer star. Braunwyn Windham-Burke, 44, of "Real Housewives of Orange County," came out as homosexual in 2020 but is still married to husband Sean Burke — despite getting hot and heavy with lover Victoria Brito. And when Debby Hymowitz left her hedge fund husband Gregg for SoulCycle teacher Stacey Griffith over a decade ago, she sent Upper East Side tongues buzzing.
Rose, who was up Catholic in Orange County, California, was taught that "all gays go to hell." She spent her childhood dismissing crushes on Pink and actors Megan Fox, Carmen Electra, and Jessica Alba as harmless adoration until she couldn't hide her genuine feelings any more.
"After spending time with that woman, I thought to myself, 'This is why I've been so miserable in my marriage,'" Rose explained. "My emotional connection with my husband felt so thin and lonely in comparison to my bond with the lady."
Rose's delayed awakening to her same-sex attraction, according to sexual fluidity expert Lisa Diamond, is not unusual.
"Many women have a greater potential for varied types of sexual desire — for numerous partners, for same gender partners, etc. — than they may be aware," Diamond, a psychology and gender studies professor at the University of Utah, told The Washington Post.
"As women, we are educated to think that we are heterosexual, and [are taught] to focus on finding the ideal male partner," the analyst continued, referring to long-standing cultural expectations on women to adapt to a more traditional lifestyle.
However, Diamond discovered that when straight-identifying women reach a stalemate in their marriages, experience life-changing milestones or diseases, or become empty-nesters, they are more likely to become "in touch" with previously unexplored sexual interests.
"It's not like these ladies suddenly became homosexual or bisexual," Diamond explained. "They may have always been capable of same-gender relationships, but they may never have had the opportunity to even consider if this was an option for them."
According to clinical psychologist Sheryl Kingsberg, "both psychological and biological foundations" in certain women eventually awaken an inner "shift" toward a desire for same-sex engagement.
However, she notes that research has yet to identify the cause of the sexual transition.
“The biological underpinnings are unknown,” said Kingsberg, chief of behavioral medicine at University Hospitals Cleveland Medical Center. “Maybe it’s hormonal or maybe it’s neuroendocrine, which is an epigenetic shift in brain chemistry that is hormone-based,” she continued. “But it’s certainly a shift.”
Many in Rose’s life have not reacted well to her shift.
“After I told my husband about my feelings after my experience with the woman, he got really nasty,” she said. “He outed me to my very conservative parents, our mutual friends and our Bible study group.”
Rose bought a pistol and considered suicide as a result of the mockery she received from her loved ones after her non-consensual outing. But, before she committed the crime, she met and began seeing a lady called Jacqui, whom she credits with saving her life. They've been together for over a year and just relocated to Portland, Oregon, to raise Rose's two young boys.
In the meantime, Rose has become distant from her mother and father, who have arbitrarily removed her from their will.
@raising2activists #mentalhealthmatters #comingout #wlw #lesbian #gaygirls #wlwtiktok #homophobicparents #lesbiantiktok🏳️🌈 #queer #latebloominglesbian #healing ♬ original sound - Sarah Cothran
Despite the agony of family and theological isolation, Rose is now joyfully liberated and identifies as an atheist rather than a Catholic. She also provides encouragement and support to over 132,000 late-in-life or "late blooming" lesbians on TikTok under the handle @Raising2Activists – a username devoted to her "very supportive" boys, 6 and 8.
