Colton Underwood Reveals 'Suicidal Thoughts' Before Coming Out: Revelations

Colton Underwood opened up about the ‘wake-up call’ that led to owning his sexuality — read for more details

Sharing his truth. Colton Underwood came out as gay in a Wednesday, April 14, interview, opening up to Robin Roberts about his journey to acceptance, his mental health battle and more.

The former Bachelor, 29, said that he was motivated to come out after getting “into a place with [his] personal life that was dark and bad.”

The Bachelorette alum explained, “I think overall the reason why now is because I got to a place where I didn’t think I was ever going to share this. I would have rather died than say, ‘I’m gay.'”

The former professional football player first joined the Bachelor franchise when he competed for Becca Kufrin’s heart on season 14 of The Bachelorette. After having a fling with Tia Booth on Bachelor in Paradise, the athlete went on to star as the Bachelor for the show’s 23rd season.

The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV author gave his final rose to Cassie Randolph, but the Bachelor Nation members called it quits in May 2020.

“It’s been a crazy few months to say the least, Cass and I have been doing a lot of self-reflecting,” Underwood wrote via Instagram following their split. “Sometimes people are just meant to be friends – and that’s OK. We both have grown immensely and been through so much together – so this isn’t the end of our story, it’s the start of a whole new chapter for us.”

In September 2020, Randolph, 25, filed a restraining order against the Indiana native, which was granted that same month. She dropped the restraining order two months later.

Underwood apologized to the California native in his Good Morning America interview, saying, “I’d like to say sorry for how things ended. I messed up. I made a lot of bad choices.”

The former tight end revealed last year that he had previously faced rumors about his sexuality. He wrote in his March 2020 book that when the speculation went back to his parents in high school, his dad, Scott Underwood, didn’t let it go right away.

“He’d pulled up the history of recent Google searches, which included gay porn sites and a variety of questions: Am I gay? How do you know if you’re gay? Why don’t I like having sex with my girlfriend?” the Illinois State grad explained in his memoir. “At first, I denied responsibility. Then I owned up to having been curious. He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, explaining that I’d figured things out on my own. I begged him not to tell Mom. I’m sure he did. But neither of them ever spoke about it with me. All that research, though, led me to understand that I was definitely attracted to girls.”

Keep scrolling to see how Scott reacted to his son’s news and more revelations from Colton’s tell-all below.