A look back at the now-canceled Cannes Film Festival schedule

The Cannes Film Festival? Spike Lee to head the jury? Not happening. No croissants on the Croisette. No Cannes do this year, which only got zonked once before for 1968’s student protests. Scheduled this season was director Wes Anderson’s “The French Dispatch.” Its cast — Timothée Chalamet, Saoirse Ronan, Frances McDormand, Willem Dafoe, Bill Murray, …

The Cannes Film Festival? Spike Lee to head the jury? Not happening. No croissants on the Croisette. No Cannes do this year, which only got zonked once before for 1968’s student protests.

Scheduled this season was director Wes Anderson’s “The French Dispatch.” Its cast — Timothée Chalamet, Saoirse Ronan, Frances McDormand, Willem Dafoe, Bill Murray, Adrien Brody, Benicio del Toro — is not packing its glitz and glamour and showing up. Its official opening in July is now October.

Remember 1994’s wiseass Western “Maverick,” with Jodie Foster, whom we love, and Mel Gibson who, after mouthing against Jews, we maybe love less? Comes now a 2020 re-mount. But not galloping off at Cannes.

Plus, Charlotte Rampling in director Paul Verhoeven’s French/Dutch thing “Benedetta” about a nun doing it with another nun. And “Flag Day,” directed by and starring Sean Penn. And Pixar’s animated “Soul,” with Jamie Foxx and Tina Fey. And Tilda Swinton in “Memoria.”

Also, you may recall that among those not there is H. Weinstein.

Hail the queens

To celebrate Denmark’s Queen Margrethe II turning 80, maskless Maj took a horse-drawn carriage through Copenhagen. At the Hotel d’Angleterre she was presented with flowers. Understand, in 1966, Hitchcock filmed “Torn Curtain” there with Julie Andrews and Paul Newman. So have respect. This 265-year-old hotel even predates the queen . . .

Speaking of queens, the BBC’s onetime p.r., Freddie Hancock, honored by Queen Elizabeth, explained Brit pandemic survival. She said: “It’s how Londoners always survive. By pretending it’s not happening.”

Dress like you mean it

Florida Rep. Donna Shalala, Bill Clinton’s former Secretary of Health and Human Services, conducted a computer seminar to an international group of women — CEOs, presidents, leaders — discussing events, education, life today and tomorrow. Plus questions, discussions, answers from the field. Her rule beforehand: Do NOT! sign on in pajamas, nighties or quarantined-at-home wear. Attendees must be dressed as if they sat in an auditorium.

Food for thought

In 1962, with affordable housing needed, Sam LeFrak built LeFrak City. In 2020, with Queens’ 10.7 million meal gap, his daughter Francine A. LeFrak’s foundation has committed a minimum of $500,000 to the Food Bank of New York. It’s operated 35 years but needs incremental funds, because now nearly 40 percent of children have fewer meals. Every dollar received results in their being fed. To contribute, go to: Foodbanknyc.org/get-help/. Thanks.

Meth-od acting

The hills are alive with dead people’s bad stories. Comes now “The Doctor Feelgood Casebook: Einstein or Dr. Frankenstein?” which includes Dr. Max Jacobson’s manuscript on JFK, Jackie and Jackie’s sister Lee Radziwill’s meth use. Eddie Fisher and wife Elizabeth Taylor, it says, also on meth. Per co-author Richard Lertzman the story is en route to be a movie …

Jewelry, watches, expensive tchotchkes now selling well to the homebound who suddenly have nothing to play with but toothpicks. A 1952 Jaguar XK 120 convertible — once chugged around Beverly Hills by Clark Gable — just brought $276,000. For Rhett Butler’s coach, someone obviously gave a damn.

Sally Richardson, St. Martin’s Press’ longtime publisher, weary of staying home, rang a friend. They met on a park bench. Sally brought glasses, plus a bottle of wine. They knocked off the whole bottle, replaced their masks, then toddled back to their individual co-ops.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.