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A spectre is haunting Twitter — of the microwave pasta dish Robert Pattinson cooked for his self-shot GQ cover. All the powers of social media have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this demonic creation: Reporters for Mel Magazine, Man Repeller and countless other internet provocateurs attempted to make Pattinson’s version of piccolini cuscino …
A spectre is haunting Twitter — of the microwave pasta dish Robert Pattinson cooked for his self-shot GQ cover.
All the powers of social media have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this demonic creation: Reporters for Mel Magazine, Man Repeller and countless other internet provocateurs attempted to make Pattinson’s version of piccolini cuscino — a proprietary recipe involving pasta, cheese, sugar and cornflakes smashed into a tinfoil ball and then mistakenly put into the microwave instead of the oven.
“The f–king electricity … Oh my God,” says Pattinson from the floor after the aluminum explodes in the profoundly unhinged interview.
The profile has deeply resonated with internet denizens who, trapped in quarantine because of the coronavirus pandemic, find the surrealist cooking failures of an objectively hot individual to be extremely relatable content — a balm for the dreamlike state of nihilism many find themselves in after accepting their fate to indefinitely stay inside with limited human interaction.
“Robert Pattinson cooking pasta in isolation is truly…..an experience,” tweets “Shrill” actress Niccole Thurman.
“Sorry how is it Robert Pattinson can cook sugar & cheese pasta in the f–king microwave and you lot are still wet hot and spicy for him but when i do it it’s ‘we’re getting concerned’ and ‘are you sure you’re coping okay?’ ” writes advice columnist Beth McColl.
“SNL writers wish they could write something as good as the Robert Pattinson cooking pasta in the microwave ordeal,” tweets another supporter of Pattinson’s affront to Italian cooking.
One fan of the “Twilight” and eventual “Batman” actor appears to be permanently traumatized by their attempt to recreate the UK native’s carb-filled hellscape.
“I made the Robert Pattinson pasta sugar cheese sandwich and my review is that the only way to describe how it tastes is to imagine going through all five of the kubler ross stages of grief simultaneously,” writers user @Tormny_Pickeals.
Others have expressed concern for the birthday boy, who turned 34 on Wednesday.
“Everyone is like, ‘Omg Robert Pattinson doesn’t know how to make pasta,’ ” writes one worried user. “Guys Robert Pattinson doesn’t know where he is.”
