St. Patrick’s Cardinal Dolan now calling parishioners personally

More On: Coronavirus

New York — always, forever, no matter what — the greatest city on Earth. Greatest talents, greatest population, greatest attractions. Plus, The Hand That Feeds Us Is Divine gave us the planet’s greatest cardinal. Timothy Cardinal Dolan — who usually works St. Patrick’s Cathedral — is also temporarily unemployed. His workplace is empty. Forget sinners, …

Timothy Cardinal Dolan — who usually works St. Patrick’s Cathedral — is also temporarily unemployed. His workplace is empty. Forget sinners, not even saints are showing up. However, since we can’t go to him, he’s getting to us. His Eminence is working the phones.

Himself is personally ringing the flock. Finding his own numbers, making his own calls. And the familiar voice: “This is Cardinal Dolan.” Plain and as simple as your electrologist on the line confirming an appointment.
“People are now in need. I want to be in touch with everyone,” he said. “That’s our mission. That’s why I was put here. And it’s what I’m trying to do.”

Homebodies

Like lying around Central Park in July, Jimmy Fallon built a backyard tent for homebound “Tonight Show” …Elton John owns a dozen homes. He’s stuck in one with no piano … Mo Rocca rediscovering jigsaw puzzles … Big sales loss? Perfume. Could be everything about this stinks.

Telling overseas tales & tails

Global reactions to the 6-feet-apart rule.

Iceland. We only have 300,000 people. Nobody’s ever that close.

Ireland. That’s 18 glasses of Guinness in a row. No problem.

Rome’s Hassler hotel (where Audrey Hepburn and Tom Cruise stayed — not with each other) has a Michelin-starred recipe for shrimp pasta — 300 grams of gobetti shrimp, 400 grams of cardoncelli mushrooms. Lotsa luck finding it at Gristedes.

Berlin’s Adlon invited medical personnel to overnight free once the crisis eases. And the Orania emptied its kitchens, leaving food out for the needy.

Heckfield Place in Hampshire, England (where Harry and Meghan once played potsy), has a Corona Basher cocktail and spritzes of Clove Campari Spray that possibly smell better than those semi-royals.

Right now hotel guests are maybe no-nos. Animals are yes-yes. Ashford Castle has Ireland’s oldest falconry school. Two dozen birds still nosh filet mignon morsels. Dingle the owl continues his daily mice snacks. With Crovan and Garvin, not sure — but being giant wolfhounds doesn’t figure they’re going hungry.

Pennsylvania’s Nemacolin Woodlands Resort is shut to guests, but their lion, tiger, white Bengal tiger and Icelandic sheep all book for lunch.

Dr. Awesome

Dr. Ramon Tallaj, founder of SOMOS Community Care, has deployed 2,400 doctors to NYC’s front lines to assist EMS workers, nurses, MDs, the military and health-care providers. Not charging. Pro bono. Dr. Tallaj’s own $175K went for gowns, masks, equipment and meals. Celebs who know him, like Eva Longoria, Marc Anthony, Benicio Del Toro, are lauding him. We should, too.

Eats out East

Southampton’s 75 Main restaurant, before the big pause. A couple brought their own silverware, wine, water, glasses and gloves for waiters. “Then would not pay full price for dinner because they brought everything,” said Hampton Sheet’s Joan Jedell. “The lady said because of the crisis it should be free of charge. So they asked her to pay their rent because that, too, is now a crisis.

“To his face this lady then told Zach Erdem to go work somewhere else because ‘We know the owner well.’

“ZACH IS THE OWNER!”

Home, isolated, reading a book about Bambi, this guy said: “She’d do anything for a buck.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.