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Coronapocalypse

Cabin fever sets in for Maggie and Ian as they navigate self-quarantine. Hollywood thinks you should do the same, especially Hilary Duff. Dakota Johnson is getting territorial over bamboo and Joakim Noah’s neighbors aren’t too happy with him. Dakota Johnson told neighbors to ‘shove it’ over bamboo plants “Fifty Shades of Grey” star Dakota Johnson …

Cabin fever sets in for Maggie and Ian as they navigate self-quarantine. Hollywood thinks you should do the same, especially Hilary Duff. Dakota Johnson is getting territorial over bamboo and Joakim Noah’s neighbors aren’t too happy with him.

Dakota Johnson told neighbors to ‘shove it’ over bamboo plants

“Fifty Shades of Grey” star Dakota Johnson is battling her neighbors and she doesn’t care who knows, even telling them on camera to “shove it.”

In a new Architectural Digest video of Johnson showing off her LA home — after telling viewers about her vintage record collection and a table made from Winston Churchill’s yacht — the star takes viewers in her plant-filled yard, saying, “Bamboo grows so crazy fast . . . My neighbors on that side are in a war with me about how high the bamboo in the driveway is growing. Which is insane, because why would I want people to see in my house? So they can just shove it.”

In 2018, Johnson appeared on her neighbor Jimmy Kimmel’s show, where he recalled that she got into a fight with another neighbor during a charity event hosted by Will Ferrell over the towing of her grandfather’s truck. “I turned into Medusa,” she said of the incident. “I’m not a confrontational person . . . I think I really scared them. I scared myself.” She added, “I’m going to send them a cake of my truck.”

NBA star Joakim Noah runs afoul of condo gym

Joakim NoahGetty Images

Joakim Noah’s neighbors may be pleased to learn that the former Knicks star has signed with a team on the other side of the country.

Page Six is told that residents in his luxury West Side condo building had asked for Noah to be banned from the building’s shared gym because he turned it into his own makeshift NBA training facility while he was a free agent.

Sources say that Noah and his similarly giant pals even brought in a personal trainer, who’d blast a whistle when it was time to move between exercises.

“There’s Noah and his bros doing hardcore exercise sessions while the other people are just trying to get in their morning jog,” said an insider. “[Noah and his friends] would be doing like 100 pushups, then this guy would blow the whistle, and they’d all race over to the treadmills and start running a thousand miles an hour.”

They added, “The crazy thing is that Chelsea Piers is right next door — they have gyms for that there.”

Noah — who signed with the LA Clippers last week — bought the 2,297-square-foot penthouse apartment at 555 W. 23rd St. for $5.8 million in 2016, The Post’s Jennifer Gould Keil reported at the time.

We’re told that the building eventually asked Noah to knock it off, but he didn’t take the hint.

Reps for Joakim didn’t get back to us.

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