Nostradamus was dubbed the Prophet of Doom by his contemporaries because of his pessimistic perspective on the future.
Folks, the news is growing grimmer as the year draws to a close, at least according to the forecasts of long-dead divining daddy Nostradamus. In 1555, the famous and extensively mentioned book "Les Prophéties" was written by the French plague doctor, astrologer, and seer. The book is packed with lyrical prophecies, including wars, natural disasters, assassinations, nuclear assaults, and revolutions.
Nostradamus was dubbed the Prophet of Doom by his contemporaries because of his pessimistic perspective on the future. His language is loaded with phrases like sickness, starvation, blood, grief, and fire — and generally reads like a bedtime story written by a Norwegian black-metal band, inspired by biblical texts and his personal plague time trauma.
Nostradamus' prophecies, like those of the high-on-fumes oracle at Delphi, are purposefully imprecise and subject to a variety of interpretations. He hinted of a zombie apocalypse in 2021, stating, "Few young people: half-dead to give a start." Isn't it bleak? Not if you consider the likelihood that Nos was telling us young people that we are merely existing, not truly living. Isn't it more Matthew McConaughey motivation than certain quasi-death? He also predicted that a world-ending asteroid will strike the Earth in 2021, although it has yet to strike (she types with fear).
So it is with a pocketful of dread — and a thimbleful of skepticism — that we take a look at what that bearded harbinger of ruin forecast for 2022.
Inflation, starvation and cannibalism?
"So high the price of wheat/That man is stirred/His fellow man to eat in his despair," said Nostradamus, predicting inflation and hunger in 2K22. People go hungry, and then they get cruel — and with US inflation at its highest level in over four decades, Nos' forecast has proven to be accurate so far. There's no information on whether the increased price of wheat prompted this person or this guy to devour their neighbor.
AI becomes MVP
Nostradamus wrote, “The Moon in the full of night over the high mountain /The new sage with a lone brain sees it /By his disciples invited to be immortal/Eyes to the south. Hands in bosoms, bodies in the fire.”
That passage appears to speak to the escalation of artificial intelligence, despite being readily mistaken with Björk lyrics. Elon Musk, Time magazine's Person of the Year and an unmistakable extraterrestrial in his own right, has turned his attention to robotics and relocated his offices to Austin, Texas. The aesthetic prophet Jared Leto's teachings provide more proof that man is doomed to be conquered by eternal robots.
The heavy hits just keep on coming. Nos’ predictions are linked to astrological events more than calendar years and, for some time, devout doomsdayers have been awaiting a nuclear explosion that will trigger severe climate change. We may predict biblically terrible droughts and floods based on this upbeat passage: "For forty years the rainbow will not be seen/For forty years it will be seen every day/The dry ground will get more parched/And there will be tremendous floods when it is seen." According to this summer's catastrophic drought and Chile's severely dry circumstances, that retribution may have already arrived.
Add to that the recent discovery that China is supposedly armed, dangerous, and ready to launch a nuclear attack that would likely result in catastrophic water shortages. Our most effective drought protection appears to be in the hands and nether regions of moisture awareness champions Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion thus far.
Nos also predicts the emergence of bitcoin in the coming year, in addition to inflation. "The duplicates of gold and silver inflated/Which after the theft were thrown into the lake/At the discovery that all is expended and squandered by the debt/All scripts and bonds will be wiped away," Yearly-Horoscope translated from the original French.
While Nostradamus' prophecies have a tendency to land closer to the bank than on the money, gold is now on the rise, and a slew of Silicon Valley engineers and executives are abandoning high-level positions to join crypto businesses. Is it a coincidence or a fulfilled prophecy? With bitcoin and bated breath, we wait.