“I’ve had moments where I’ve been like, ‘What’s the point? Why do I keep doing this?'” the Spring Breakers star, 28, in the cover story of Vogue‘s April 2021 issue. “‘Lose You to Love Me’ I felt was the best song I’ve ever released, and for some people it still wasn’t enough.”

The Texas native released three albums with her former band, Selena Gomez & the Scene, between 2009 and 2011. She later pursued a career as a solo artist, scoring eight top-10 tracks on the Billboard Hot 100. “Lose You to Love Me,” the lead single from her Rare album, was released in October 2019 and became her first-ever No. 1 Billboard hit.

Though Gomez has an avid following, she’s struggled to feel accomplished “when people don’t necessarily take you seriously” as an artist. “I think there are a lot of people who enjoy my music, and for that I’m so thankful, for that I keep going, but I think the next time I do an album it’ll be different,” she told the outlet. “I want to give it one last try before I maybe retire music.”

Before she transitioned to music, Gomez starred in Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place from 2007 to 2012. As she considers taking a step away from singing, the Monte Carlo star hopes to give herself “a real shot at acting” and secure more work behind the camera, learning from her role as executive producer for Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why.

“I haven’t even touched the surface of what I want to do,” Gomez said, acknowledging that she might “need help” getting the roles she really wants. “I can’t wait for the moment when a director can see that I’m capable of doing something that no one’s ever seen. … I just want to start over.”

Gomez’s Disney Channel days are far behind her, but she still gets “this haunting feeling” that she can’t escape her child star image. While finding her authentic identity hasn’t always been easy as she’s grown up in the spotlight, the Rare Beauty founder is finally ready to be seen as her own person.

“My best stuff is happening now,” she told The Newsette in November 2020, reflecting on the day “Lose You to Love Me” was released. “I remember I smiled and I was like, ‘That’s why it’s worth it. All of these years of confusion and being in love and all of this stuff … and it was finally a clean slate.‘ And it wasn’t even because everyone liked it; it was just a realization of why I went through everything I went through.”

This story originally appeared on: US Magazine - Author:Meredith Nardino