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        <title><![CDATA[Nikki Bella reveals she was raped twice in high school]]></title>
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            <media:title type="html">Nikki Bella reveals she was raped twice in high school</media:title>
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        <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Nikki Bella</strong> opens up about being raped twice as a teenager in her new memoir, &#8220;Incomparable.&#8221;</p><p>The former WWE star shares in the book, co-written by her twin sister <strong>Brie Bella</strong>, that she was first attacked at the age of 15 by a fellow student she &#8220;thought was a friend.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;My virginity was stolen from me, without my consent,&#8221; she writes, <strong>according to Us Weekly</strong>. &#8220;I was raped, by a guy I thought was a friend, while I was passed out at a party. I’d had too many beers, and maybe some shots of hard alcohol, and I only woke up because my stomach hurt — I came to, and this guy was both on top of me and inside of me. I pushed him off and ran out of the room — he followed me down the hall and asked me if this meant we were now boyfriend/ girlfriend &#8230; I had never even seen a penis, yet I was no longer a virgin.&#8221;</p><p>Then, at age 16, she was raped again by a college-aged man whom she says drugged her, <strong>People reports</strong>.</p><p>&#8220;There is the horrible offense in the moment, and then the shame and blame that follow, and feel almost worse than the original pain,&#8221; she writes. &#8220;When something like this happens to you, you understand the blame-the-victim mentality, how easy it is to feel shame rather than anger, how easy it is to feel like you could have stopped it yourself.&#8221;</p><p>The 36-year-old says she blamed herself and in turn kept what happened a secret.</p><p>&#8220;And keeping that a secret and blaming myself, I started to lose my confidence,&#8221; she writes. &#8220;I started to disrespect myself. And then the relationships I got into at a young age, I let other people disrespect me and felt like, that&#8217;s okay, this is what I deserved.&#8221;</p><p>The &#8220;Total Bellas&#8221; star turned to therapy &#8220;on and off&#8221; to try to cope with her struggles, but wishes she had opened up about her past sooner to help her &#8220;let go.&#8221;</p><p>The #MeTooMovement and her platform as a WWE star helped her come to terms with speaking up.</p><p>&#8220;I feel like, if I&#8217;m having these younger women look up to me, maybe I can help them and have them not hold onto this as long as I did,&#8221; she says in the book. &#8220;It wasn&#8217;t until I was 28 and in a relationship where someone started to teach me how to respect myself. That&#8217;s how long I held on to things and felt I had no boundaries.&#8221;</p><p>Nikki began dating John Cena in 2012, but after a failed engagement, the couple <strong>split for good</strong> in April 2018.</p><p>The now mom-to-be, who is <strong>expecting her first child</strong> with fiancé Artem Chigvintsev, says she always admired Brie for setting boundaries and treating herself with &#8220;such respect.&#8221;</p><p>&#8220;How do I not have this?&#8217;&#8221; she says she&#8217;d ask herself. &#8220;And I knew why. But I held onto it for so long. When I look back at just decisions I made based off of it, I wish I could have heard my words now as a 36-year-old woman then, and be like, &#8216;You&#8217;re going to be okay.&#8217;&#8221;</p>]]></content:encoded>
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