In her latest video, which shows her sitting in a darkened room at a typewriter while jazzy guitar music plays in the background, the 61-year-old singer said, “We can’t always have a good day … I didn’t sleep last night, not one minute and today I have been dysfunctional.”

She continued, “The pain-o-meter was on 10 and when it’s on 10, I just need to, want to, have to, get out of my body.”

Following a series of cuts and close-ups of flower blossoms, she then announced that she lost three people in the last 24 hours, including a cousin, her security guard’s brother and dance music executive Orlando Puerta, who remixed many of Madonna’s singles.

“Today wasn’t a good day,” she said. “I’m over it.”

In the same video, Madonna — who is reportedly quarantining in London — also appeared to make an attempt at poetry, as well as talk about her son, although it’s unclear which one she’s talking about.

“If my son says that I have a broken hip one more time, I might implode,” she said. “If someone says you’re broken so many times a day, you do start to feel that way.”

This video diary marks the singer’s ninth since quarantine began. In separate videos, she has said things like, “We’re starting to ration food and eat less, which is never a bad thing,” and “I managed to get out and get one hour of sunshine in the garden.”

Last month, the pop icon was slammed for a video of herself luxuriating in a bath, strewn with petals, while theorizing that the coronavirus is “the great equalizer.”