Anyway, he directed it. He stars in it. And back when we had movie theaters, he’d schlep around promoting it. If we had red carpets, he might even bring along his lovely wife, Amal. Instead, it zooms straight to Netflix.

He’s now even directing a newie titled “The Tender Bar.” It’s based on J.R. Moehringer’s memoir about growing up on Long Island and seeking out father figures among the customers at his uncle’s bar. Which, of course, that’s back when we had bars.

Virus touching all parts of film

HBO’s developing a COVID-19 series — just what we need — about the search for a vaccine. Question: What comes first — the serum or the series? Producer’s Oscar winner Adam McKay of “The Big Short” and “Vice.” It’s based on the nonfiction book “The First Shot.”

Another Oscar winner, Sam Rockwell, is set to play country western’s Merle Haggard in a biopic. Co-writer is his widow. It’ll focus on Haggard’s journey from San Quentin con to the Country Music Hall of Fame. His biggie hit? “Okie From Muskogee.” Wow! Okey donkey!

Everybody’s busy. No theaters. Just TV. There are no plans for Christopher Nolan’s “Tenet” to be shown in New York. Sept. 3 is their aim for US cities that have theaters open by then, but theaters in main markets remain closed. Even the AARP refused their now aged popcorn.

Carol Alt, who did Sardinia for a film festival with a crateload of whoknows European actors: “There was heavy paperwork. A whole testing process. Sardinia had zero CV cases and with Europe’s huge demand for more movies and TV, from there comes lots of streaming and Netflix product.” Meanwhile, Matt Dillon was spotted with girlfriend Roberta Mastromichele at the Filming Italy Sardegna Festival in Cagliari, Italy.

Pay attention

Rep. Carolyn Maloney’s up by some 3,700 votes over that lefty pushed by the ex-bartender with the center part in her hair and three initials, which may as well spell ASS … Another heavy-duty deep item. Jenna Bush at Cafe Cluny with friends. She was inhaling an Aperol spritz, a prosecco cocktail, while lamenting about the coronavirus.

What Ailes us

Russell Crowe and John Lithgow both played Roger Ailes. Now comes Amazon’s doc “Man in the Arena.” Jon Voight narrates. It’s 30 years of Ailes’ private recordings. Hemophilia that almost killed at age 8. Next comes a cutout book — and maybe — a statue. Naturally, a temp one.

Out at club

Creepy Friars stories are crawling around like ants. In 2017, the US Attorney’s Office Southern District of NY raided the club. Small tax fraud. The bad boys who flunked arithmetic floated away. But — tada! —They somehow crept back. Reporter Roger Friedman and many members said that gone they were not.

The who/what/why is more complex than the Magna Carta. Why they were permitted back, attorney Arthur Aidala, speaking for the Friars, told me, “Aaah, they’re family men. We felt sorry for them. But they’re now gone.”

Enough forever with the Friars. I’m finished with them for good. I last saw a pastrami sandwich in their dining room 25 years ago. I still smell it — and them.

Autobiography of Joe Biden could be “The Untold Story.”

Only in the basement, kids, only in the basement.