The Gone Girl actress, 30, wrote about the darker side of fame in the memoir, which was released on Tuesday, November 9. One chapter in particular deals with the aftermath of Robin Thicke‘s “Blurred Lines” music video, which debuted in March 2013.

A passage from that section of the book appeared online last month, but according to the I Feel Pretty star, the essay was leaked.

“It’s been hard for me,” she told Extra of the section, which was originally posted by the Sunday Times of London. “I really like to have control over my image and I wrote this book of essays to share the whole story and all sides of it, and I feel like it turns into a clickbait frenzy and all of a sudden words like ‘sexual assault’ and ‘allegations’ are getting thrown around rather than people reading the actual essay.”

In the chapter, the supermodel claimed that Thicke, 44, groped her while they filmed the controversial video. The Masked Singer judge has not publicly commented on the allegations.

“I had a hard time writing that essay for a bunch of different reasons but ultimately I decided to include it in the book because my experience on the BL set and how I talked about it says so much about the evolution of my beliefs and politics,” Ratajkowski wrote via Instagram in October, explaining why she decided to write about the video nearly a decade later.

“Most of my jobs at that point kinda sucked — I was either shooting e-commerce for online stores where I felt like nothing more than a mannequin or I’d be in lingerie while some middle aged photographs told me to pout. BL was different,” she continued in her Instagram post. “I was surrounded by women I liked and trusted. I had fun on set, being a sexy girl in a music video made me feel hot and cool and powerful. I told the world that the experience was empowering. In many ways it was. You’ll have to read the essay to fully understand the other sides to my experience.”

In the full version of the essay, the In Darkness actress explained why she didn’t initially speak out about what happened on set, adding that the video catapulted her to fame faster than anything she’d done at that point.

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This story originally appeared on: US Magazine - Author:Eliza Thompson